What type of parent are you?

I love to people watch; I especially like to watch parents interact with their children. There are times that I've thought to myself, I hope I don't do that. I don't want to be "that" parent. I doubt I'm the only mother who's said something to their child and immediately regretted saying it, but I'd like to keep those moments to a minimum.

While watching parent-child interaction, I've noticed three basic types of parents. There is the absolute parent, the agreeable parent and the authentic parent.

The first type is harsh and unyielding. They seem to want to control their child's behavior through the use of authority. They want obedience and use physical punishment to obtain their goal. For example, you're standing in line waiting to check out and you see a small child reach for a candy bar. The absolute parent will slap the child's hand and say, "I told you, you can’t have any candy!" and put the screaming child in the shopping cart.

A second parent is indulgent. They use a minimal amount of control. The agreeable parent is indulgent of their child's every whelm. Take that same child waiting in line. When they reach out to pick up the candy bar, the parent says no, but when the child starts to whine, the parent give the child the candy even thought they had originally said “no.”

A confident parent tends to focus on the important issues of keeping their children safe without having to resort to physical punishment. However, they also appear to believe that the child has rights and needs that are important too. This parent is going to explain the rules and their importance to the child. Put yourself back in that same line. This time when the child reaches for the candy bar the parent says, "It's almost dinner time and you know we don't need candy before we eat." The child may fuss, but the parent is loving a firm and never resorts to physical force to make their point nor do they give in.

I want to be that authentic parent every time and never regret what I've said or done. But I know I've been a bit of each. Which parent are you?

School at Home

One day, several years ago, I sat down and listed a few of the reasons we decided to homeschool our children, just to have it in black and white. I had all but forgotten about that list until the other day when a friend of mine sent me an e-mail. She was telling me a cute story about some comment one of her children had made to her and her husband. She followed the story up with a remark that I haven't been able to forget. She said, "[My husband] and I never really talked about[that] with either of the boys… so I think they've been getting some feedback at school." Now this couple is very loving and also very involved in their kids activities. The comment just struck me; shy are many parents detached from their children educations.

One of the many reasons we chose to homeschool our kids was that we wanted to be involved in their education. I just think is sad that so many parents don't know or even worse don't care what their kids are learning. Here is an excerpt from that original list.


Schools have the one-size-fits-all approach. At home we can teach each child in the way that they learn best and at the rate that is appropriate for them. If they don’t “get it” the first time we can spend more time on what they need help with and move along with ideas and concept that are easily understood.
Schools tend to have an atmosphere that is overly controlling; lining up kids, moving them around like herds of cattle, and a disciplining them inappropriately for the problematic behavior. At home children are able express their individual personalities and only receive the appropriate amount of discipline for the infraction.
Schools have an institutionalized environment. At home children are loved and nurtured.
Schools spoon feed children what they want them to know. As our children grow they will have the opportunity to experience self-directed learning. They will acquire the basic skill to learn independently.
In the school setting our children will be exposed to outside influence that we feel are not safe for our children. Examples of such concerns are bullying, cussing, fighting negative influencing of peers, and illegal drug use. Many times these factors are over-looked or unseen by school officials. At home we have the ability to mold our children and shape them with high moral

standards, and to teach them right from wrong. In other words we are able to be their parents.

Schools have set schedules. We are able to study each subject when the time is right, travel if need be, hold ‘class’ during the hot summer months and enjoy the out-of-doors when the weather is pleasant. Flexibility is one of the perks of schooling at home.
Why would I want to send my children to school when the schools are admittedly producing poor quality students? There is violence in the school. The teachers and staff are unable to protect the students. The courts have ruled that once you drop you child off at the door of the school you no longer have to direct your child’s education.

I would just like to add that this so-called socialization issue is not an issue at all. Socialization is the process by which children and adults learn from others. Really now, isn't that what homeschooling is all about? In fact I'll top that one. Most children I've met that are schooled at home interact better with a wider age range than do your so called socialized school children.